Sometime today or tomorrow, or in the future, you’ll figure out how to inspire others to change for better. It may be a troublesome spouse, a heartbroken member of the family, a choleric colleague, or a kid who lacks self-trust.
To inspire others to change for the better, you need their cooperation. This is one secret I’ll like to pass on to you. Trying to make someone change without their cooperation and agreement is like firing rounds of ammunition into a ten-inch reinforced concrete wall.
On this fading Saturday evening, the air smelled pleasantly of rose flowers. He hesitated in front of his house. They fired off a round of texts at him. “We’re having fun big time.” Bursting through the parkway like a flame ignited by methane, he was inside his car. He arrives on 206 road in ten minutes. It was ten past ten in the evening with music melody filtering from the speakers they were gulping drinks in quick succession as in a competition. The tradition was on. Respect follows whoever consumes the greatest amount of liquor. Though the group inspired him, it was queer and silly, yet he indulged them.
It was one am the next morning. Sleepwalking, he lunged for the nearest support. His legs failing him, but he reaches for the door handle. With trembling hands, he struggles but eventually opens the car door. With heavy throttling, the car sings him home.
To inspire others to change, help them own the change
To inspire others to change for better, help them spark off hope so they can take responsibility for experiencing the change sort.
Arriving home, the car gallops into the garage. With shaking hands, dazed by liquor, he’s figuring out what time of the day it is. He struggles to find the keyhole. After the battle rages, he wins. He dodders past the door into the fury of his wife, waiting patiently for his return. “You worthless man. Shameless man.” She yells at him, vomiting words in quick succession. She schools him, intending to make him change.
Well, this type of attitude backfires because it encroaches on a person’s respect.
How can you help people change for the better?
Why is it easy to inspire others to change rather than make them change? First, it follows the law of formation of habits. The formation of a new habit is easy when the individual feels disgust for the bad/old habit and replaces it with a new habit. You can inspire others to change for the better in several ways, but you need to do it without violating their respect and dignity.
If you’ve used up all known strategies to make someone change for the better, or you’ve tried hard to force someone to change to no avail, I have a proposition that will interest you. Here are three ways you can inspire others to change for the better.
1) To inspire others to change, begin with well thought out questions
It requires patience if you intend to inspire others to change. You need to think about what they’re going through or what may have caused them to lead the life that needs changing.
Unlike the wife who scolded her husband by saying, “I’ll not tolerate this misbehavior anymore.” She could do better by sitting down with him and saying with a gentle tone of voice, “For a responsible man with a family that looks up to him for leadership, do you feel this is the best way to lead us?”
It requires we show love if we intend to inspire others to change. Her initial attitude showed disrespect to her husband while the well thought out question showed respect and love. Despite his untoward behavior.
2) Inspire others to change at their own pace
Even if you knew people have to change for the better, it’s effective when you wait for them to change at their own pace. After you present your well-thought-out question, also let them know that you’re there for them should they need a helping hand.
She said to him, “Honey, I know what you’re going through and I know it’s difficult for you. I want you to know that I am here to give a helping hand whenever you need me.” This approach leads to a change of attitude and behavior from him.
3) Show a good example
Those who have changed are an enormous influence on those struggling to change. This is especially true for those who are struggling to overcome the same challenge that someone close to them has overcome.
You stop going to the nightclub as a married man and suddenly other married men who are your friends feel you are snubbing them. They feel you are proving to them you are now too good to hang out with them.
Sometimes, one of them would pull out after thinking it’s a favorable time to cut back on these inappropriate visits.
These all happen because you showed a good example.
Experiencing change yourself is a better way to change because change begins with you. To inspire others to change require patience, even if your intentions are good. Respect for the individual’s borderline is vital.
Even the worst person who needs change has a borderline. Intrusion into this borderline only makes the person defiant.
Sometimes you may give advice to inspire others to change, but don’t expect your advice to be taken. Let them experience it themselves and make the call.
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